Learning to fly..

"When you come to the edge of the light that you know, and you are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things will happen: there will be something to land on, or you will learn how to fly."

These past few months have been a really trying period for me. With Joe out of work, and work being a struggle for myself, it is hard to figure things out. It's hard to ask "Why?". Why did Joe lose his job? Why are we struggling financially? Why do I feel as if I have lost control of my life? I have never felt this way.. I feel depressed, discouraged and angry at times and I don't know how to handle it all.. I have been really angry with my friends and my faith.

Athough it may not seem like me, I went out a few weeks ago and got a tattoo. Why? I am not sure, but I am glad that I did it.. Actually getting it has given me inner strength to deal with some issues. I am learning to stand again on my own two feet. I am learning to realize that you can't place your hopes in things that may not happen or people in your life. I realized that I am the only person that can change direction in my life. I have realized that I can't depend on anyone to make me feel better about myself, only I can do that for myself.. My self confidence is increasing as I am "learning to fly." I feel more confident in myself.

I look at my tattoo and I realize that you can't regret the decisions in your life. The things in your past makes you continue to grow into the person that you are.

The next step in my continued journey, is my upcoming surgery. I am not able to to be the best I can be physically. I am hoping that this surgery gives me more self confidence to lose the extra weight and to be a better person for me.